


Connection

by kouw



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: but a challenge is a challenge, crack!fic, frankly it sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-13 10:52:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kouw/pseuds/kouw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack!fic depicting the mission of a young woman on an Earth-like planet, meticulously documenting the goings on downstairs. Yes. Dis fic be crayzee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> How this fic came about needs a bit of an explanation. I think we all know the scene where Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes are having this ‘moment’ that we all dubbed ‘the eyesex’. I saw some gifs of it on my Tumblr dash and onesimus (read all her fics!) had commented on it. I saw a challenge and have since tried to write it. This is the (partially?) finished product.
> 
> Do leave me reviews and commentary, let me know what you think, but keep in mind that none of this is meant to be serious: it’s all just a bit of a lark.
> 
> The words ‘alternate universe’ are taken quite literally in this fic. This is a big fat hands up. If you decide to read this, there be a bit of scifi/fantasy ahead.  
> I am by NO means a writer of the genre, so bear with me and tell me everything you know that I can use to better this fic!
> 
> kouw. tumblr. com/post/48284973300/ just-came-back-from-my-meeting-what-even-is-it

**Prologue**

She’s been planetside for a few years now. Her mission: to observe the people and document their behavior. So far, no-one has noticed she’s not from ‘here’. Her cover had been well researched, her credentials impeccable. So far they have made fun of her accent, but have not guessed she is not a ‘human’ like they are.

Work as a housemaid is hard and the days are long, but there is a camaraderie she enjoys and she finds that she is respected and well-liked. Her place at the table is across from Anna. Anna lives in a cottage with her husband instead of sharing a cramped attic room with another maid. People are not sure how to react to it, say the War is to blame for the great changes that are taking place. 

The War was one of a primitive people, the use of machinery and bodies lacked the purity of warfare as she has always known it. Of course disease spread like wildfire, killing more men, women and children than the War did in the end.

While warfare on this planet is limited and crude, she finds that other things have evolved in a much higher tempo. For instance marriage is highly valued and the process of falling in love and subsequently making love romanticized, she has learned that children are not always conceived through sexual relations, like her own people used to procreate before the Revolution.

This information has proven to be both interesting and unlike anything she has encountered on the missions she had been on through the years. Having been there for this exceptional occurrence is in her file and in the end secured her promotion and extended stay on the planet.

**Part 1**

She has heard it a fair few times now: “Stop looking at me like that!”. Anna to her Mr Bates and it is paired with smiles and blushes and more often than not a quick cuddle. Lily doesn’t quite understand, but it’s something more than just something people in love do and say. There is something about that sentence:

“Stop looking at me like that.”

Agreed: there are few people who look at each other the way this pair does, but there are some of them under the roof. She wants to know what it is, but she cannot ask. She has told Mrs Hughes she had been given the world famous talk on how to avoid getting into ‘trouble’. Not that it was true. When Mrs Hughes had asked her about it, she had gone to her room and had sent an alarm up to the ship and they had beamed down some research.

Human reproduction, or procreation, is basically the same as it used to be in her own species. She herself has been conceived in a petri dish, which is a lot cleaner than the way of the people here, though she must admit it seems rather fun to do it their way. To feel a closeness she has never encountered and a passion that is foreign to her.

There had been a note in her files that said something about telekinesis, about brainwaves and about ‘a profoundness of feeling’, but it had not been worked out. The previous group of scientists who settled here, had not come across it and like Lily, had only heard of it, vaguely.

After three years, Lily is still no closer to understanding it. 

But that would soon change

**Part 2**

“Are you going to the fair, Lily?” Ivy asks. She is excited, it shows in the roundness of her cheeks that only shows when she smiles widely.

“I don’t know if Mrs Hughes is allowing us all to go.” She has her arms full of sheets and blankets that need airing. She has been to the fair before, doesn’t really see the attraction. There are too many people in too small a space and everyone gets drunk and rowdy. She doesn’t care for the games - sees they are all set up and her basic training allows her to win every single one without even trying.

“It will be grand!” Ivy says with gusto. “There will be pop and maybe I’ll try to win something!”

“I am sure you will have a very amusing time.” She wants to get on, doesn’t want to get on Mrs Hughes’ bad side. She has only had the extreme displeasure of a tongue lashing once and it’s been enough to keep her nose clean for the rest of her life.

“Oh come on, Lily, come with us, it will be such fun! We’re only young once, you know.” Ivy has put her hand on Lily’s wrist and the feeling from skin to skin is something she still isn’t used to, a jolt of something rushes through her.

“Alright, I’ll ask.”

“Good!” Ivy returns to the kitchen, calling out to Daisy that Lily is coming too and that it will all be great and that she has a bit of money to spend and that she is going to wear her Sunday dress.

She passes the boys in the hall, both Jimmy and Alfred are discussing if Mr Carson will be persuaded by Mrs Hughes and she cannot help but shake her head a little. Of course the man will be giving them permission to go to the fair, he is besotted with Mrs Hughes. She could ask Mr Carson to walk barefoot over a pile of hot coal and he’d do it.

She is alone when she hangs out the sheets and comforters, she will miss her hair being blown across her face, the gentle tickling of sunshine on her cheeks, a solidness under her feet when she has to go back to the ship. When she is outside, she feels like she could stay here forever. It’s a direct result of being outside that had gotten her the reprimand from Mrs Hughes. She had dawdled the first time she had encountered rain. 

Rain was a completely new experience. Cold droplets of water falling from the sky onto your body - something she had reported extensively about. The feeling was not altogether pleasurable, it had been rather cold after about ten minutes. When she returned to the Servants’ Hall, Mrs Hughes had sent her upstairs to change and had called her into her parlour. Told her she was to come in immediately when it started chucking it down and take the washing with her. 

She can still feel her blush whenever she thinks about it.

**Part 3**

She always looks forward to the meals. They are something completely different from what she gets when she is aboard ship. The thought of the almost tasteless chunks of protein (a white, gummy substance), vitamins and minerals (three coloured pills a day) and carbs (a thick, slimy porridge) make her shudder now. She adores the taste and texture of the slices of bread, the smell of cooking apples as they simmer, the feeling of contentment when she has filled her stomach. Most of the time she devotes her attention to what she eats, sometimes she exchanges a few words with Anna, but there is something in the air today that makes her look up from her plate.

There is something hovering in the air. She thinks it might be what Mrs Hughes calls ‘an atmosphere’.

Edna is talking about Mr Branson taking them to the fair in the car and Mrs Hughes calls her out on it. Her voice oozes authority when she addresses the girl. 

“There is no need for impertinence Edna, thank you.”

Mr Branson looks uneasy. She has never seen him before at the table downstairs and she can see he is ill at ease. “I am happy to drive them.” He looks at Mr Carson. “But who will stay here?”

Mr Carson answers: “I will.” 

“You don’t want to come to the fair?” Alfred has hardly swallowed his food when he speaks. He wants to make Mr Carson proud and is overeager at times. Very unlike Edna, who doesn’t want to please anyone but herself. 

“I’d sooner chew broken glass.”

The boys return to their food, everyone does, but Lily sees it happen. 

A sideways glancing smile from Mrs Hughes that gets caught by Mr Carson and is returned. She can almost touch what is between them in that moment. It’s less than ten seconds but she feels like she is intruding, as if she is watching the coupling she is so curious about, but won’t ever see.

Instead of kissing and presumably naked flesh, there is this.

A web that is woven between them and no-one seems to notice. They are all chatting about the fair, about going out and playing games and participating in the tug-o’-war (she has no idea what that is, so she will have to come along). A thread is now around the pair of them that cannot be broken and there is a glowing she has never seen on anyone before erupting from Mrs Hughes.

When the pair look away again, a sensation lingers in the air around them and Lily can’t hardly breathe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily does an awful lot of eavesdropping. For her reports. Obviously.

**part 1**

 

While Lily doesn’t forget what she has seen at the table - the sideways glance, the moment suspended it time - it does get pushed to the back of her mind. The fair is rowdy and Thomas gets beaten up while protecting Jimmy, who is drunk and has been showing off his money, won in the tug-o’-war. Which turned out to be a bunch of men pulling at a rope. She cannot see it’s attraction, but Mrs Patmore seemed to enjoy spurring Mr Tufton on. Mr Tufton who praises the cook’s cakes and roasts and whatnot, who tries to cop a feel here and there and not just on Mrs Patmore. 

 

She had been right to distrust Mr Tufton. Mrs Hughes had seen it too, which had not surprised Lily in the least, but she had been surprised to hear giggling come through the grate in the wall of Mrs Hughes parlour and it seemed Mrs Patmore was very much relieved. She heard the sounds of teaspoons against cups and more laughter until she decided to get on with her work.

 

When Lady Mary comes back from Scotland early she goes straight into hospital from the train and Anna tells Mr Carson to call the family. The man is nervous, Lily has never seen him like that before, not even when Lady Sybil was going through the same. Mrs Hughes settles him with a cup of tea and a custard tart in his pantry, checks in on him from time to time while carrying out her own duties. With the family coming back sooner than expected, she has all of them running through the house to air the bedrooms, change the linens and get the nursery ready.

 

Whenever the phone rings, Mr Carson is on it like a shot and finally the word comes that Lady Mary has pulled through and her child is safe and they are to stay in hospital for a day or so. Mr Carson almost falls over himself in his haste to tell Mrs Hughes the good news, who is in her parlour with Mrs Patmore and they ask him if it is a boy or a girl (and Lily wonders what the difference is, what it matters) and he doesn’t know. He is flustered when he runs from the room again, getting things ready. There is more laughter from the parlour.

 

The laughter dies when the police comes round the house to tell them Mr Crawley has been found on the side of the road, his car in smithereens, his life lost. Shock befalls on all of them, she sees it happen. An eerie quiet envelops them. They eat in silence, go about their work without having to be ordered.

 

The family comes home, Lady Mary is released from hospital with the baby. They all fawn over the little thing, like they with little Sybil, but like then there is a shadow that lurks. Days pass and the funeral has come and gone, they are all trying to get back on their feet. Anna tends to Lady Mary, the nanny is in the nursery with the baby, Lily is to bring the trays with the meals up three times a day. She has asked Mrs Patmore why Nanny doesn’t eat with them and got no answer but a pulling of eyebrows and the advice to ‘mind her own business’.

 

They weren’t too happy with her report when she files it, tell her to get more information. By now she just shrugs. Life planetside is different from life aboard ship. Life is different with these people, in this time. She is still wondering how her superiors knew Mr Crawley would die and how. Her days are fourteen hours long, filled with manual labour and she needs her sleep, thinking about the time and space continuum is not something she has time for.

 

**part 2**

 

They all go about their work as the weeks go by. It’s been a month and a half since the fair and they don’t speak of it anymore at the table, the fun day has been tainted by Thomas being beaten up, by Mr Crawley dying. 

 

This afternoon Lily takes the rugs from the rooms outside and smashes a carpet-beater against them, working out the little irritations that have built up: her superiors telling her to gather more information, the girl she shares her room with snoring away half the night, Lady Mary leaning on Anna far too much and that there is something off about Mrs Hughes.

 

No-one else seems to have noticed the Housekeeper looking tired and peaky. How she is quick with a tear and easily irritated. She hardly eats in the morning and withdraws to her parlour at the earliest opportunity, leaving Mr Carson to stare at her as she stalks away.

 

Lily has started picking up slack from the other girls to relieve Mrs Hughes of more work and having to dish out stern talks. She has also started to linger around the hall when she knows someone is in there with the Housekeeper and listens at the grate. It’s research, she tells herself. If she doesn’t come up with more data, they will pull her from the planet and back on desk duty. They’ll put it on file that she is not to be given more fieldwork. She loves being out here, loves becoming this whole other person, living a life she would never have otherwise. She has no choice but to listen.

 

Through the grate she hears Mrs Hughes speak to Mrs Patmore about pints of cream and changing times, to Anna about Lady Mary and the baby. Mostly she hears the resonating voice of Mr Carson and their talk is easy and bounces back and forth about the house, their charges, about the book she has read and about him possibly getting himself a new hat. 

 

The grate has become Lily’s main source of information.

 

**part 3**

 

Another week goes by and still nobody seems to see there is something wrong with Mrs Hughes. Granted, she hides it well and of course she relies on her reputation. She is strict and fair and dishes out tasks and duties and supervises them. Whenever she doesn’t come to check up on you, you simply assume she is checking on someone else.

 

You don’t think she is in her parlour or her bedroom.

 

When you see she is not having any breakfast, you simply think she has already had some or that she will have some later because she has ‘things to do’. That she is locked in her room with ledgers and rotas and is slumped over her desk is something you are used to, though the slumping is new, but you assume it’s because she is getting on a bit and Mr Crawley’s death seems to have shaken her more than she lets on.

 

Today the Housekeeper is looking pale and stifles a yawn when she tells Lily to sweep the Servants’ Hall and to polish the bannisters. It’s a golden opportunity for eavesdropping and taking notes. Of course she doesn’t have to clean the kitchen floor, that’s Ivy’s job, but the rest is up to her today and she makes sure she will get it spotless while listening in on Alfred and Jimmy, Mr Bates and Anna and she is very lucky to have come to the corridor when Mr Carson enters the parlour without knocking.

 

At first she can easily overhear them - his voice carries and she answers in a bit of a huff, but then their tones lower and Lily gets a stool, climbs up on it and presses her ear against the iron. 

 

“You are not well.” He states and she huffs. 

 

“How would you know?”

 

“You are pale and you are not eating and you are more in your room than on the floor.”

 

“Are you spying on me, Mr Carson?” Lily is reminded that she is in fact spying and that it’s good to have a natural curiosity.

 

“I am not spying on you. I am worried.” 

 

Mrs Hughes’ sigh is deep and sorrowful. “Thank you.”

 

“Just tell me what’s wrong.” It’s not an order, it’s a question and now there is a silence between the pair.Lily can hear the creaking of a chair. They have sat down. Mrs Hughes clears her throat.

 

“You... erm... you know how erm...” 

 

It is strange to hear Mrs Hughes fumble and search for words and she can hear a shuffling.

 

“Tell me, Elsie... is it... you know... what it was before?”

 

“No. Nothing like that... No... But you remember when the boys asked you if you would come to the fair and you told them you’d rather eat broken glass or some such?”

 

“Yes. What of it?” 

 

“Remember how we looked at each other?”

 

The look. The look! Lily almost falls from her stool as it starts wobbling dangerously from her bouncing.

 

“Oh...” The Butler sounds shocked.

 

“Yes...”

 

“Really? Has it... Are you? I mean...” He stammers and Lily wishes she could look into the room through the grate or be a little mouse sitting in a corner, witnessing it all.

 

“Yes... I’m afraid I am.” Mrs Hughes states blankly.


	3. chapter 3

**part 1**

Her ear is starting to hurt from being pressed against the grate so tightly, but she cannot pull away now, she needs to know what it is that has happened, what that look has caused.

"I... Cannot believe it..." Mr Carson sounds stunned.

"Neither could I." Mrs Hughes sounds resigned.

"But it's really... You are really..."

Lily wishes the man would finish his sentences, this is frustrating her.

"Yes. I really am. Or at least, it could hardly be anything else, could it? I'll have to go and see Doctor Clarkson about it soon." She sounds pained.

"Yes, you should. You'll need the best possible care."

They are silent again. The suspense is killing Lily and she is getting a cramp in her leg from standing hunched over on the stool. She hears Mrs Patmore order Ivy about in the kitchen and she knows it's almost time for tea. Anyone could come into this hall at any moment now. She wishes the pair would hurry up with their talk.

"So..." Mrs Hughes starts again.

"So..." Mr Carson echoes.

"Isn't this something..."

"It certainly is."

"Remember all those years ago when you said you weren't a gentleman?"

"Yes... well." He coughs. "Turns out I really am not..."

"That's not true. You are. You should have said something, Charles." She uses his first name. This means something here, in this house, on this planet.

"How could I? We're employees, we are not free to do as we wish. To say or do as we please."

"I know... I understand. I didn't say anything either."

Fabric rustles, the chair legs scrape over the ground.

"I recall you asking me if I would have gone another way..."

"Do you think that's what's done it? What set it off?" Their voices are even softer now and Lily really has to strain to hear what they are saying.

"Maybe... and you telling me you would miss me very much if I went with Lady Mary and Sir Richard."

"We've been very foolish, haven't we?" Lily can imagine Mrs Hughes biting on her lower lip, like she does whenever she becomes emotional. To her this all seems very emotional, so out of the ordinary for these people. They hide their feelings, all servants do here, it's common practice. It's why they are finding Anna and Mr Bates so strange.

Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes are archetypes almost - the ultimate servants of either gender. Of course they have pushed away all there could have been between them.

"Apparently our deeper selves knew better." His voice is gentle.

"Are you alright with this then?" She sounds scared. Or maybe not scared. Worried.

"I think I am. I mean... it's strange, isn't it. It's not been heard of in years."

"Mr and Mrs Johnson... I've been thinking about them for a few days now. They must be about a hundred and ten by now..."

"We could visit them. Ask them what to expect." He is making plans. Solving problems. Doing what he is best at and Lily enjoys it when Mr Carson shows he is a man of endless resources.

Just then Thomas comes around the corner and Lily is just in time jumping off the stool and grabbing the broom before he sees her. She has her head turned to the wall so he cannot see her ear, the dirt on her apron and she is so annoyed.

She is so irritated.

What is it they are expecting? What is going on?

**part 2**

"Have you seen Mrs Hughes?" Lily asks Anna when she comes downstairs from polishing the grates.

"No, she's gone to see an old friend in the village. Is there something I can do?"

"I don't think so. I just wanted to let Mrs Hughes know that I've cleaned and polished the grates in the library and that the back needed blacking, so I took care of that as well."

"Then you deserve a bit of a sit down and a cup of tea." Anna says and Lily follows her to the table. There is a basket with mending and Anna has been working on something that looks expensive and very fine. She daren't touch it in fear her hands are not that clean after all.

"It's Lady Mary's." Anna explains. "She caught it when getting out of the car."

Lily doesn't really know what to say to that. She has never been in a car and she thinks she rather doesn't since it killed Mr Crawley in the end. Oh, she knows that was an accident and that it's silly, but she keeps her feet firmly planted on solid ground if she can help it.

"I ought to be getting on..." She says and hears her stomach rumble.

"You are a growing girl, you had best have something to eat." Anna pushes a jar towards her. Biscuits. Crispy, sweet, buttery biscuits. One of the greatest joys of this planet. Together with strawberries and seeing lightning in the meadows and the feeling of kitten fur under your hands.

"Do you think Mrs Hughes would mind? Or Mr Carson? I don't want them to get cross at me." It's a childish thing to say and again Lily is confronted with how hard it is to walk the fine line of being 'seventeen' and not a child nor a woman grown. Anna is a woman grown. She is beautiful and petite and she has the kindest eyes and cheeriest smile.

"They've both gone, so I wouldn't worry. It'll be our secret."

"Have they both gone out? That doesn't happen often, does it." She stirs her tea.

"Mrs Hughes told Mr Carson she was going to visit her friend and he knows the husband, so he decided to come with. They don't get a lot of time off, either of them, so I told them it would be alright, Thomas and I have everything under control."

"Alright." She sips her tea and takes another biscuit from the jar and Anna smiles at her. Lily always feels a bit better, a bit strengthened when she is around her. Perhaps it's what it would feel like if she had a sister. Her people don't have siblings, not ever. Their genetics have been pushed and pulled and all of them are unique with qualities that are of use to the Fleet or on the Colonies. Here people often have brothers and sisters - some more than others, some none at all. Lily's people age faster than the people here, who easily live to be a hundred and twenty.

"I know the Johnson's daughter. Mrs Hughes was trained by her."

"Oh. I see." It's a useless phrase, she doesn't see anything, but doesn't know what else to say.

"She was really something. I remember how everyone used to talk about her, say she was a 'Connection miracle' and that she brought joy and wonder."

"Erm... a what?"

"A child born through the Deeper Self Connection'."

Lily shrugged. "I don't know what that means."

"You don't? Were you brought up by savages? Honestly, girl. A connection between two people on a different level than normal communication. Like we are now talking, like usual, but the 'deeper self' communicates... well... deeper, I suppose. Usually through touches or looks."

When Anna asked her if she had been brought up by savages, Lily's heart had jumped in a painful and unpleasant way. She was glad Anna didn't require an answer.

"But how can you have a baby through that? Mrs Hughes told me that it's something between a man and a woman, that it is a physical thing..." A white lie never hurt in the quest for knowledge, Lily thought.

"Normally, yes, but when the Connection is so strong, sometimes it happens. Doesn't matter how old the people are, a child will grow. It happened with Mrs Hughes' friends. They had worked together for a very long time and everybody knew they loved each other deeply, but neither of them dared admit it. Then one day, it happened, though no-one knows how - I do think there are other things that need to happen, maybe the moon should be full or something? But the lady carried a child and they all lived to tell the tale and it was a great joyous thing. It's always joyous when a baby is born of course, " Anna adds quickly, "but in those cases it's so very special and you get a mention in church and things like that."

"You always get a mention in church, don't you?" Lily asked.

"With the times changing as they do, there are less and less children born through the Connection and they want it remembered before it dies out, so they get extra attention."

"So it's not a big secret or anything?"

"Oh no! Not at all. I am surprised you had not heard from it, but you were brought up in an orphanage, weren't you, you wouldn't know about it. You came straight to us."

Lily nods and drinks more tea.

She has a lot to report tonight.

**part 3**

She asks for more research on life cycles and gets a report on how aging works on the planet and how the people's life cycles differ from her own. Lily is expecting to live a good seventy years (if she exercises, drinks enough water, follows through with her complex skin care routine (which she has not done since she has been down here and it shows. She is lucky her skirts and sleeves are long. She does not have the time nor resources, she only takes care of her face and hands). The people here are looking at some 135 years of living. The brain matures at the same rate as Lily's, but their bodies are much slower after the prefrontal cortex has ripened.

She puts away her reader after checking her roommate is still asleep and takes her hair down, starts brushing it and undresses. She checks her arms and legs and decides she needs to take care of them before the skin starts splitting. She knows that Mrs Patmore keeps some supplies in the kitchen, so she takes off her corset, puts on her nightgown and tiptoes down the corridor and down the many stairs to the Servants' Hall.

In the kitchen she lights a candle instead of flipping the electric light switch. The electric light is harsh still, the people have not invented a bulb with a softer glow. She rummages through the cupboards until she finds what she needs. She hops on the table - Ivy had peeled the potatoes there, but Lily is sure she cleaned things up afterwards - and starts rubbing her skin.

She is just to start on her other leg, when the light goes on in the Servants' Hall and she puts her things down, climbs off the table, blows out the candle. The tiles are cold on her bare feet, but she doesn't care. She doesn't know if she is allowed to be downstairs in the middle of the night, but she probably isn't.

Just when she is about to sneak through the door, someone comes into the kitchen and she dives under the table. Bare feet. A woman's. The scraping of a throat, and the lights being turned on. A pink fluffy robe.

It's Mrs Hughes.


	4. chapter 4

**part 1**

"Lily? What are you doing up?" Mrs Hughes looks at her as if she can see all Lily's secrets and it is disconcerting to say the least. "You're not even wearing your robe."

"Erm... I was... I was just going to... erm..." She is not used to lying. She is used to hiding and to faking and to making up stories, but her mind is not agile enough to outwit the Housekeeper.

"Couldn't sleep." Mrs Hughes states and Lily looks at her, silently. "You've the honey out. Sit down, I'll warm up some milk for you. Milk and honey always does the trick."

Lily doesn't object, is glad Mrs Hughes fills in the blanks. It would be embarrassing to explain that she had been mixing a bit of honey and oil to rub on her legs. Mrs Hughes moves around the kitchen with easy grace, puts on the kettle, grabs the milk from the cold box.

"Homesick?" The housekeeper inquires.

"No. Not really. I mean... not after so long." Three of their years and it feels quaint to say it anyway, especially since she is pretending to be an orphan, that she had been raised with a chuck load of other girls. Saying she lives on a ship that is orbiting the planet would be impossible to talk about in the same comfortable way. Orphans are common. Extraterrestrial life forms are not.

"Bad dream, then?" Mrs Hughes stirs the milk in a small pan on the stove, looking so at home, as if this is her house, not the Crawleys'.

"Something like that. You?" She tries to converse, which is not easy for her. She is not used to it - people mainly give her orders. Only Anna talks to her sometimes and she keeps that in mind while speaking.

"I have a lot on my mind." Mrs Hughes answers, sounding tired nonetheless.

"Is there something I can do?"

"No... No... All the doing has been done." She pours the warm milk in a mug and turns to hand it to Lily. "Don't worry about it. I am sure it will be alright."

"Yes, Mrs Hughes." Lily takes a spoon and scoops a bit of honey into the milk. "Perhaps Mr Carson can help." She offers.

Mrs Hughes misses her cup as she pours her tea. "Yes... perhaps..." She wipes the counter with a rag. "Now, upstairs with you, girl. Cannot have you dead on your feet with a party coming up."

**part 2**

The party comes and goes, there are more official dinners now Lady Mary is starting to feel up to it. Lady Edith has asked for Anna's help with her hair a few times. Things are getting back to normal upstairs, for as far as that is possible with the loss of two young people, the loss of a daughter, the loss of an heir, but there are two beautiful children in the nursery and summer is here.

(Lily can see the beauty of a baby, the mixture of helplessness and an undefinable wisdom. Plump bodies and flailing limbs, little hands closing into fists around fingers. It's a scent and it's a purely instinctive need to protect and she thinks it is a shame almost that they are born older, that her species does not start out this tiny, but with a skill set already set in stone, a character that is already formed, their language practically formed, their bodies working as they will until death, there is no learning curve, not until basic training, if you choose and Lily feels she has missed out on a lot because of this, feels there is so much she could have understood better if her mothers had held her close to their heart, their skins touching)

With summer comes the garden party. Mrs Hughes is overseeing the preparations, like she has done for many years and Mr Carson stays close, makes sure she doesn't work too hard. Still nobody has noticed, but Lily sees it now, clear as day. The way the Housekeeper is filling out her dress that tiny bit more, the way she tires easily. But she is the same in other things - her orders are clear, her expectations high. Lily's sense of pride when finishing a new task and getting a compliment on it has not changed either.

Lily is still listening in on conversations. She sits closer to Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson when Anna is free for the evening and overhears interesting little tidbits.

Which guests are expected, including people of interest (who are all unknown to Lily).

The Dowager Countess getting a bit frail, though her tongue is still acidic - Mr Carson shakes his head at Mrs Hughes when she says it.

Little Sybil being bright as a button and the spitting image of her mother. They look at each other when he says it and Mrs Hughes blushes prettily, looks away a bit shyly, her hand hovering in her lap as if she wants to touch her stomach.

Lily has seen pregnant women before. Lady Mary and some women in the village. They all look different. They carry the weight of the child in high bulges on their stomachs, or in wide ones. When you think they cannot get much bigger, they do and the bellies lower and it's strange and a bit frightening that a child is in there, all scrunched up and that it comes into the world so violently. The research beamed down had diagrams of birth in the species and it is the same as in the humans they encountered on Earth on another mission.

Lily knows there will be pain involved and terrible danger and she doesn't understand why the people don't try to do anything about it, that they don't use their intelligence and growing knowledge of technology to advancing the chances of mothers and babies and she keeps a little device with several helpful medication on her person at all times.

Mrs Hughes has become too important to her to let her die. A mentor or maybe an aunt – in this society filled with siblings and an overload on role models.

But the garden party comes and goes and nothing out of the ordinary happens and Lily feels a bit silly for being so anxious about something she is not even sure about. After all: anyone can put on a bit of weight, wear a new dress in a looser style, have glossier hair if they change their care routine.

**part 3**

She has chosen her moment well: Mrs Hughes has gone into the village for errands and Mr Carson offered to go with her. The other maids have been assigned other tasks in various parts of the house, as have the footmen. Thomas - Mr Barrow, but she doesn't feel the same respect for him she does for Mr Carson, for Mr Bates, so she calls him Thomas in her mind, like she calls herself her actual name in her mind, not 'Lily' - is responsible for the wine delivery today, which is new and he had been as surprised at the others when Mr Carson gave him the keys to the cellar. Mrs Hughes had smiled kindly at Thomas and then at Mr Carson, who had smiled back at her.

She still doesn't understand how the others don't see there is something going on right under their noses, but thinks perhaps some things are best hidden in plain sight.

The books all stand in neat rows and it's her task to dust them every week and today she will try and find something on human reproduction. She is certain there will be something here, especially since Mr Carson has told her to stay away from a shelf at the far end. The book must be there, she doesn't doubt it. Mr Carson doesn't want his brood - for isn't that what they are? like ducklings or piglets - to get 'any ideas'.

Lily had chuckled into her napkin when Mrs Hughes had murmured: "Like you do?" under her breath.

She dusts and tidies and replaces books and an atlas that was still open on the table. She put a bookmark at the map it was open at, just in case Lady Edith was working on it, losing herself in her research for something she is writing.

When she finally gets to the shelf she is not allowed to touch - it feels like the restricted area in the laboratory aboard ship - she pushes up her sleeves and goes through the titles. Some of them make no sense to her at all, but finally she comes across something that might be of interest. She pulls it from the shelf and opens it randomly.

A cough startles her.

She snaps the book closed and turns on her heel.

"What are you doing?" It's Anna and she is smiling that tiny, quirky smile. The one that makes you know she has caught you, but she won't tell anyone.

"Erm... it's... it's just a book..." She stammers.

"What's it about?" Anna sticks out her hand to take it from Lily, who gives it without hesitation. She has learnt long ago not to hide any secrets from Anna. Or at least not the small ones.

"Why do you need this?"

"I told Mrs Hughes I knew all about it, but I don.'t... I know nothing... only bits and pieces I overheard and I don't want her to know... I don't want her to think I'm... you know..."

Anna nods. "Alright. How about we go through it together? We'll take the book and when you are done here, you come and find me in the Servants' Hall and we'll have a chat."

Lily nods, grabs her duster, climbs on the stool to reach the highest shelf.

"You know Mrs Hughes would not have made fun of you, right?"

"I know. But I don't want her to think I am irresponsible. Or slow."

"Why do you need to know all of the sudden? Lily?" Anna's cheerfulness sounds a bit forced.

Lily thinks her own sounds innocent and honest when she replies: "Because I don't know now."

There is no need to tell Anna that she thinks Mrs Hughes is pregnant through the Deep Connection. She knows that if someone will notice what's happening between Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson, it will be Anna.

After all, if it is what she assumes it is, they won't be able to hide it for that much longer, will they.


	5. chapter 5

The skin on her right thigh is peeling, it itches painfully and the urge to scratch is becoming too much. She remembers Mrs Patmore has made scones this afternoon and if she is lucky the cook will have forgotten to put the butter back in the coldbox. It's not ideal, in fact it's quite icky, but it will have to do until they manage to send her that emergency skincare kit from the ship. The trip downstairs has become routine now. She always manages to be as silent as a mouse and no-one has caught her since that time Mrs Hughes thought she couldn't sleep.

The attic is dark and when she tries the door, she finds it open, which is lucky. Picking the lock with a hairpin is tedious, even if she has gotten quite proficient at it. Like the rooms and the corridor, the stairs are dark too, only a beam of pale moonlight to guide her down. She slips into the kitchen and finds the butter, which she slathers on her thigh quickly. The scent is not that unpleasant, the relief almost instant. She has not used a lot, can always say she got hungry in the night and made herself a slice of bread if they find out about it.

When she retreats, she sees the door of Mrs Hughes' parlour is open, light flooding through the crack and she hears voices. She tiptoes over, looks in and finds Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson in a loose embrace. The past two weeks Lily has seen them touch each other more. A little pat on the shoulder, a steadying hand on the small of her back, her hand over his squeezing his fingers. They sit closer together, walk to church arm in arm. They speak more quietly, their bickering has a lighter tone, their usual evening conversation in Mrs Hughes' sitting room starts earlier. It seems they had not gone up after safely locking up the house.

From her spot it is easy to overhear what they are saying between soft kisses. First she doesn't pay attention to the words, she is enthralled by the tenderness between them. She can almost see their love surrounding them. When Mrs Hughes speaks of 'an atmosphere' she means the exact opposite of this, Lily thinks.

Mr Carson caresses Mrs Hughes' cheek, runs his fingers across her jaw. The back of his hand from the top of her neck to where the shoulder meets the neck and Mrs Hughes leans into him, her hand running from his waist up his back, pulling him closer.

They kiss again, a bit more urgently and Lily hears a soft moan come from Mrs Hughes.

"Are you sure about this?" Mr Carson's voice is low, lower than normal. Mrs Hughes leans against him, plants little kisses along his jawline.

"I am..."

"You know you don't have to do this..."

Mrs Hughes is fumbling with the buttons of his shirt - he has discarded his coat and waistcoat already and she has his collar off in mere moments.

"I want to... unless... of course you don't." There is a note of insecurity in her voice and Lily thinks about what Anna has told her when they read the book together. About how people 'make love' which is a brilliant description - if it's always like what she sees before her.

Anna has told her it is a very private thing between a man and a woman (a husband and wife were her exact words, but Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson are not married as far as Lily knows, but they are engaging in this beautiful thing anyway, so perhaps Anna was mistaken about it, or maybe she meant that 'making love' preferably takes place between married people, that it is the usual way to procreate) and that it is something that strengthens the bond between them.

The pictures in the book were quite graphic, according to Anna, who had blushed from time to time. People in various states of undress, in several positions, diagrams and explanations. When Lily looks at the pair before her she understands that if there is this Connection between people, they don't need explaining if they have that between them, they don't need diagrams and pictures.

They are taking off their shoes, straighten up again and help each other undress between kisses and touches. When Mrs Hughes puts her hand flat on Mr Carson's bare chest, she bites her lip, kisses the wide expanse of it, touches his chest hair, white and silver curls and for a moment they just stand there.

"I'll leave you to undo that yourself..." Mr Carson points at Mrs Hughes' corset. "I don't want to hurt you."

Lily contemplates that taking off her corset has never hurt her in the slightest, that especially in the beginning of wearing it, it was a blessed relief to just stand in her shift, taking in deep gulps of air, but when she sees Mrs Hughes take a breath and reaches behind her to unlace her corset instead of just pushing the busk open, she understands.

Mrs Hughes has been lacing herself up more tightly lately. When the corset comes off, Mr Carson kneels before her and it's there, plain as anything.

A softness of hip and breasts and a roundness of belly. He puts his hands on it, looks up at her and her hands go through his hair while she smiles a soft, knowing smile.

"I still cannot believe it..." He says.

"Sometimes I cannot either, until I have to get dressed and I am reminded of it."

"You are beautiful."

Lily feels tears well up when he says it.

"You only say that because..." Mrs Hughes swallows a few times, Lily sees how she is bracing herself.

"Because you are carrying my child?" Mr Carson's eyes twinkle. Twinkle! Lily would not have believed it if she had not seen it herself.

Mrs Hughes places her hands over Mr Carson's on the slight protrusion of her stomach.

"You are not angry about it, are you? I mean... You've said you are not... but... I know you. You'd do the honourable thing no matter how you actually felt." She removes her hands as she speaks.

Lily pushes her fist against her heart as it beats painfully in her chest. She doesn't claim to understand the people and their emotions yet, even if she has been here a while, but she feels this is a very loaded question and Mr Carson's answer will decide how things will be between the pair of them from now on.

She watches him has he pushes the hem of Mrs Hughes' shift up, revealing toned legs and sensible knickers, then further, showing the bump where the baby is and over it, holds it there with one hand while the other is splayed across the skin.

"I am definitely not angry, Elsie. I was shocked, I must admit it." He sighs. Mrs Hughes' hands are balled into fists, Lily sees how white her knuckles are.

"I wish we could have been honest with ourselves before, we could have been all what we are now so much earlier. We could have had this," He places a kiss under Mrs Hughes' belly button (another thing she doesn't have, another thing she needs to report about and Lily files it away for now, is too enthralled with what is happening before her, even if her knees are protesting from being on the hard, cold tiles in the corridor). "the usual way."

"I'd say nothing about who we are together is usual..." Mrs Hughes' accent is more pronounced now.

"Perhaps not." He comes up from his position and he takes her in his arms. They kiss again, deeply and while Mrs Hughes seems satisfied with his answer, Lily's heart is still pounding. The kiss seems neverending, she notices their mouths are slightly open, their lips still touching and she can only imagine that their tongues are too. She doesn't know what to think of that, but they seem to enjoy it.

Mrs Hughes pushes Mr Carson's open shirt from his shoulders and it lands on the floor. She works on the fastenings on his trousers and he helps her with her shift, leaving her bare from the waist up and somehow Lily thinks it's the women in this culture who possess the beauty and the strength and it is no wonder it is them who bring the children into the world.

When Mr Carson kisses a way from Mrs Hughes' cheek to her chest and over her breast, pulling a taut nipple in his mouth, Lily decides that it is too much. She is invading these good, honest people's privacy, just like Anna said. She is not to watch them 'make love', it's not right. For now this has to be enough to report about. She has heard them exchange emotions through words, has seen her first actual kiss and she has seen the beginning of a monumental change in Mrs Hughes.

That's definitely enough for one night.


	6. chapter 6

**part 1**

Now she had seen them in the sitting room, she sees everything there is between Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes. The way she butters his toast and pours him tea in the morning, the way he guides her through the halls. The way they stand next to each other and whisper things into the air, sure it will fall on the right ears.

They are so comfortable together. She isn't afraid to scold him, he can say the harshest things and Lily sees the pain in Mrs Hughes' eyes when that happens. She also sees the relief that comes with apologies, with little kindnesses. Mrs Hughes no longer takes wine in the evening. Says it upsets her stomach.

Mrs Hughes is forgetting none of them know she is carrying a child. Her dress is starting to become too tight around her breasts, her yawns are starting to be noticed by Anna. Lily is stirring her porridge (it's similar to the gloop she was forced to eat aboard ship and her least favourite planet side) and from under her lashes she sees how Anna is observing the pair at the head of the table.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"I'd like a word after breakfast."

"Alright."

She drinks her tea, tries to sneak a piece of bacon, but is too late as Alfred snatches it just as she extends her hand. Breakfast is a noisy affair and she looks at Mr Bates who is sitting next to Anna, trying to engage her in conversations and Anna only answers in short sentences - she is too distracted to talk to her husband it seems.

Mrs Hughes goes into her parlour, Mr Carson into the pantry and it is Lily's task to help Daisy and Ivy with the breakfast things, so she starts stacking the plates, grabbing the cutlery. There is nothing left, not a slice of toast, not a crumble of cheese.

"Lily, where is the book we discussed?" Anna was picking up saucers and stacking them.

"I put it back in the library. Why?" She picked up the plates.

"You don't think someone amongst us made you wonder about those things?"

It was not really like Anna to be so cryptic. "I don't understand."

"Do you think someone we all know downstairs may be pregnant, do you?"

Lily swallowed a few times. "Erm...Do you?"

"Yes. I do. And it's not me." Here Anna looked a bit disappointed.

Silence hung heavily between them.

"I'd better ask her directly." Anna mused.

"Maybe that would be better. I'm sure she wouldn't like it if people started talking about her behind her back. If they'd dare, anyway."

**part 2**

"Lily?" Mrs Hughes addresses her as she is the only one in the Servants' Hall.

"Yes, Mrs Hughes?"

"Mr Carson and I are going up to have a word with Lady Grantham. You can tell Mrs Patmore to serve our lunch when it's ready and not to wait for us."

Lily nods. "Is everything alright?" She asks.

"I'm sure it will all be fine." But the Housekeeper is looking a bit pale.

"Would you like to sit down, have some water before Mr Carson comes?" Lily worries about her mentor - someone who is teaching you about your work, about life, about how to become the person you are. Mrs Hughes has been taking a real interest in her and she doesn't want anything to happen to her.

Mr Carson appears in the doorway.

"They are expecting us, don't want to keep them waiting."

**part 3**

The Servants' Hall is free of dirt, the surfaces are all dusted and polished, including the piano. Jimmy enjoys playing it, some of the maids sing prettily. Mrs Hughes likes to sit and listen to them, drinking tea. Lately she had been taking some knitting with her when they all had a bit of free time. Lily doesn't sing. She doesn't know if she can. She has never tried. Her people don't sing, music is not a big part of their culture, like most arts. She can sculpt, quite well even, but that is not something a plain little housemaid does for a hobby here.

With everything tidy and clean, Daisy and Ivy come in to set the lunch and Lily feels as if there has hardly been any time between breakfast and now, probably because she is worrying about Mrs Hughes going upstairs to confer with her Ladyship.

The others all stream in from several directions, file in their places. They all look at each other, uncomfortable starting without Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes there. Finally Mr Bates gets ready to address them all, telling them to start eating, when the pair come in. Mrs Hughes' cheeks - that were so pale when she left - are flushed, her eyes gleaming. Mr Carson's normally set jaw is looser, he almost smiles.

"I see you've not started yet." He says and escorts Mrs Hughes to her seat, but she doesn't sit down, looks at him, nods almost unnoticably.

"Good." He is quiet for a moment or two, screening them all, looking at their faces. "Well. As some of you know, Mrs Hughes and I have just been upstairs to talk to Lord and Lady Grantham..." He scrapes his throat. He is not as much in control of himself as he normally is. Lily has her napkin in her lap, her hand squeezing it tightly.

"Mrs Hughes and I have been working together for a very long time and we..." He trails off, looks at her and she smiles, worries her lip in that telling way she has.

"Mr Carson is trying to say that we have a Connection." She says and everybody puts down their cutlery, their cups of milk.

"And that we are expecting a child in a few months."

A hush falls over the room. Nobody speaks. Lily glances at Anna who in that moment looks at her and they smile at the same time, wider and wider.

"I knew it!" Anna exclaims then, breaking the sense of shock surrounding them.

**part 4**

People are bustling in the room, congratulating, shaking hands with Mr Carson, tentatively embracing Mrs Hughes. They ask about their Connection and they shyly answer as fully as they can, as they dare and Lily observes it all. She believes that this baby was planted there through some ancient magic, but she also knows that since the pair has become just as connected on the usual plain. She has seen them kiss, has seen Mr Carson touch Mrs Hughes' body in reverence, has seen Mrs Hughes care for him in kinder ways.

Mrs Patmore is slightly teary-eyed as she gives Mrs Hughes a cuddle. They've been dear friends for years and Mrs Hughes gets an earful for keeping such a big thing from Mrs Patmore. Mr Bates is in deep conversation with Mr Carson, Jimmy and Thomas are discussing what is going on. Maids are walking around talking about 'booties' and 'flannels' and Lily has no idea what they are on about. Daisy and Ivy come out of the kitchen, bearing gifts of quickly whipped up treats.

Lily is standing on the far end of the Hall, near the piano. She has her microcam out and takes pictures, making sure no-one sees.

This would not be the right moment to tell them she is an alien from outerspace.


	7. chapter 7

**part 1**

Now everyone knows she is pregnant, Mrs Hughes no longer laces her corset so tightly and she looks more relaxed and happy. Lord Grantham has offered the pair some rooms in the house in case they want them and a place for the baby in the nursery with the other children. The vicar has come to talk about them getting married (though he seemed less adamant than Lily had expected, she assumes it is because Mrs Hughes' baby has come along through the Connection, not the way she has read in the book), people from the village drop by to offer congratulations and bring and small gifts unwanted advice.

It's all a bit much for Lily. She needs time to adjust to all the changes, doesn't really understand how the dynamic can change so much so quickly and how to react without seeming out of place. Her little kindnesses are now swallowed by those of the others. Jimmy who fetches a carafe of water for Mrs Hughes, Daisy who surprises her with little custard tarts. Anna who has long chats, almost like a daughter would. Lily doesn't like to admit it, but she is a bit jealous. She misses the thankful words from Mrs Hughes, the way she had patted her upper arm, had even once stroked her cheek with the back of her hand.

She goes back to being the quiet, distant girl she was before, a role that suited her then, but makes her feel lonely now and she reports this with all the other dailies, receives commentary back from her ranking officer telling her to grin and bear it. Lily tries, but admits to herself it isn't easy. It had been nice to do things for someone else, to care for them, in a way. She still stays close, her tricorder* always on her person.

Because she is so uncomfortable, she has trouble sleeping. She lays awake, staring at the ceiling from her lumpy cot, the side-to-middle sheets rough, the room too warm. Her roommate always sleeps, falls away as soon as her head hits the pillow. Lily had never been like that, not even when she was still getting used to the work - hard, manual labour for long, long hours will tire you out more than basic training.

This night, when the air is so close and her roommate has started snoring rather loudly, Lily can't stay in bed a moment longer. She is uneasy, uncomfortable, annoyed and frustrated. She checks the little alarm clock on their shared night stand; it's not yet eleven.

She slips from the room, the floor cold under her feet, the first bit of relief from the heat that day and she walks down the corridor to the bathroom. Maybe a quick wash will help her calm her nerves, ease the constant thoughts that swirl around in her mind. She is missing an outlet. Aboard ship there's a rec room where you can play several games that require physical strength, agility and strategy and it helps with getting rid of your frustrations. Here she hangs out laundry, sweeps floors, wipes bannisters, dusts books, returns furniture to their rightful place, which is all very physical, but it doesn't require much of her brain.

When she turns the handle on the bathroom door and pushes it open, she finds that she is not the only one who thought the night time is the right time for figuring some things out.

Mrs Hughes is standing in front of the large mirror, wearing nothing but her shift and she has not noticed Lily so far. She is running her hand up and down her sides, the top of her thighs. Grabs the hem of her shift, pulls it over her head and scrutinizes herself in the mirror.

Lily - while having seen Lady Mary fully dressed, has seen the women in the village as they walked to church - has never laid eyes on the phenomenon that is pregnancy before. Her own people make their children in petri dishes, in incubators, there is no physicality of this sort involved and she has gotten used to this body that is her own, but altered to mix in with the people of this planet and she has watched herself in the mirror, but she has never seen such beauty as she sees now.

Strong, toned legs - like her own, from climbing endless stairs - the curve of the hips a bit fuller, a bit softer, a triangle of dark curls - which she doesn't have, her skin there is smooth - a round, protruding belly but the dips of a waist still very visible, firm, heavy breasts with little silvery lines like raindrops trickling down glass and dark nipples, soft and peaked at the same time - she doesn't have those either, after all in her world they are not needed.

Mrs Hughes' dark hair is long and wavy, her back is strong, she can see the muscles move as the Housekeeper runs her hands over her body, weighs her breasts with a frown furrowing her brow, runs her hand over the bulge, lingers there while the frown makes place for a happy, contented smile.

Lily closes the door carefully without making a noise and takes a few steps back. She tries to regulate her breathing. She has often walked in on others during her time at the Lyceum and during basic training, but they (she, the others in her year) don't differ much, look pretty much the same with their pepper-and-salt hair and dark blue eyes, their bodies are completely smooth, there is no hair except for that on their heads. Their eyebrows are narrow lines, their eyelashes short. The people here are much more varied and their bodies change with age, sometimes with the season - she has noticed it in her own: her skin darkens slightly in the summer where it is subjected to the air outside, her body grows a little softer in winter when she feels the need to eat more to sustain herself during ice-cold nights and dark mornings.

When she had seen Mr Carson caress Mrs Hughes' body, she had not thought people would do that to themselves, would look at it like this, record the changes and she understands, she gets it: she would do the exact same thing, but it's not right to watch. It's a private thing, like 'making love'.

**part 2**

Should she go back to bed? Should she knock? She isn't quite sure. If she goes back to bed now, she'll never sleep. She has seen too much, her mind is whirling. She takes a deep breath and goes back into the corridor a bit further and walks back to the door, making sure she makes a bit of noise.

She raps on the door lightly, whispers: "Is there anybody in there?" She waits a few seconds before trying the handle again and there is Mrs Hughes' voice: "One moment, I'll be right out."

Lily leans against the wall, running her hand through her hair. She has not mastered the art of braiding her hair yet, even though she has observed her various roommates. She has tried, obviously, but she gets confused, her hair gets tangled. She just leaves it loose while she sleeps, grits her teeth while combing it in the morning.

"Lily?" She looks up to find Mrs Hughes donning a light white robe with red embroidery.

"I'll be as quick as I can, Mrs Hughes."

"Are you alright?" The worried look almost makes Lily squirm.

"Yes. I just... I'm a bit... warm." She cannot tell the Housekeeper she is feeling left out and lonely. Telling her that she is warm is not exactly a lie, she is, very warm, the attic is stifling.

"Yes, it's very warm. I thought it was me." Mrs Hughes' voice trails off.

"I'll go in and wash my face and go back to my room, I didn't mean to be out bed..."

"If you do your hair, it will leave your neck a bit cooler." Mrs Hughes advices. Lily shrugs.

"I don't know how to do it." She admits.

"Oh. Didn't anyone teach you at the orphanage?" Mrs Hughes' brows knit closely together. Lily is afraid she is only an inch away from being discovered. "Really, those places. Good thing we got you out of there. Go in, I'll help you."

Lily sighs with relief and sits on the rickety chair. Mrs Hughes brushes out her hair with even strokes, as if it's something she does every day. 'This is a close, intimate thing too.' Lily thinks as Mrs Hughes parts her hair and braids her hair quickly. They lppk at each other in the mirror.

"There. Is that better?"

Lily nods.

"Thank you..."

"Tomorrow, after dinner, I will instruct you on how to do it yourself. It's not difficult, you just need to practice." They look at each other in the mirror and Mrs Hughes gently puts her hand on Lily's shoulder, squeezes it.

"I don't know if I've congratulated you yet." Lily forces out - if she doesn't speak, she might cry and she has not done that yet, not ever. Her emotions run higher here, have done from the first day. Back on ship and her home planet, emotions are secondary to rationality.

"Thank you, dear." Her thumb runs back and forth over her shoulder in a soothing motion. They are quiet for a bit until Mrs Hughes breaks the silence.

"But I think you knew before we announced it, didn't you?"

Lily nods again. "Sorry..." she apologizes.

"You've been very sweet, Lily. I hope you know I appreciate your kindness. It's easier now, I feel better and I no longer need to hide it," Mrs Hughes puts her free hand on the little bump, more visible under the robe as the fabric falls over it. "But when I was tired and achey and not feeling well, you kept close and helped me. I noticed."

Lily blushes fiercely. She had tried to be stealthy about it, but obviously she had failed.

"Come." Mrs Hughes kisses the top of Lily's head. "Time for bed."

* In the fictional Star Trek universe, a **tricorder** is a multifunction hand-held device used for sensor scanning, data analysis, and recording data. - google/wikipedia for more information


	8. chapter 8

**part 1**

Mrs Hughes' appearance changes as the weeks go on. Her face gets rounder as well as her belly. Her ample chest is constrained within her dresses with difficulty and Mr Carson takes her to Ripon for clothes that accommodate her changing figure. She is beautiful, Lily thinks. Glowing and soft and she notes all the changes. Her reports are filled with little tidbits - about something called 'acid reflux' and about muscle spasms. She takes pictures when nobody's looking. Lily hopes she can get one printed in the style they are used to here. She thinks Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson would like that, a memento of this time that is so special to them.

They all try to help Mrs Hughes as the time for the baby to arrive approaches. Mr Carson hovers around Mrs Hughes and Lily can see he means well, that he tries to care for the mother of his child the best he possibly can, but she knows Mrs Hughes gets crabby when he gets too much in the way, when he makes it impossible for her to do her job.

Lily makes sure there is fresh water in the parlour at all times, that the floors are kept clean in the corridors and the rooms Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson use. Sometimes she takes the flowers Lady Grantham doesn't use and puts them in a vase on the desk to brighten the room a bit.

She has not run into Mrs Hughes in the bathroom again, but has been taught how to braid her hair. One afternoon when everybody was out - it may have been Sunday, or something was going on in the village and she had not understood what they had said, had not understood they had asked her to come with - Mrs Hughes called her into her sitting room and she had shown her how to brush her hair and part it so there were three equal strands, then the up and overs that were necessary to make the pattern.

They had shared a pot of tea, a plate of biscuits and a shy little chat that had made Lily feel more part of this place than she had ever felt aboard ship. Mrs Hughes had told her a bit about when she had started out in service as a sixteen year old maid - much like Lily. Shy and in unknown territory. But she had adapted quickly, had understood the workings of a household and Lily blushed when Mrs Hughes said she could see that in Lily too.

She had felt all warm and tingly when Mrs Hughes had sent her on her way. She had wanted to thank the housekeeper for the lovely afternoon, but the words had come out awkwardly and Mrs Hughes had smiled kindly, had taken Lily's hand in her own and squeezed gently.

To Mrs Hughes it had seemed a simple gesture, but Lily had thought a long time about it when she went to turn down the beds in the young Ladies' rooms. Her mothers had hardly touched her at all. Being born into the world without needing much care and then being raised without being made aware that touch is something that may have been vital to them at some point, had made her very susceptible to it.

Every time someone touched her, it gave an immediate reaction. Usually a warmth, a feeling of belonging and even of safety, which went beyond all she had ever known. She had always been taught that being touched was the start of a fight and that she needed to protect herself and her peers. She wondered if maybe they would let her stay after the mission ended. She had no idea how she would age and if she would be able to keep her secret, but it would be worth it. Especially if she would be cared for. Like she had been that afternoon.

The thought kept running through her head and she had started drafting a proposition. It was on paper, written in pencil. She was not used to it, her letters looked wobbly. It was an ideal part of her cover. As an orphan she would not have had a lot of schooling, her education would have been stopped at eleven at best. No-one asked questions about it though and she had been working on this draft one sunny morning in May when all the others had gone to church. She had feigned a headache, told her roommate she was indisposed, which always got them off things like church. After three years she had finally learned what it actually meant and it had made her blush a bit.

**part 2**

Lily feels she better follow through with her lie and goes downstairs to get a headache powder. They are supposed to ask for them, but Mrs Hughes is supposed to be at church, or resting. Leaving an empty packet would be good enough to distract the others in case they ask and Lily is in the parlour, reaching out for the cardboard box that holds the famous powders when a deep grunting startles her.

She doesn't dawdle when she hears another moan and runs towards the noise.

Mrs Hughes is standing bent over the table, grabbing the edges with both hands, her head bowed low.

"Mrs Hughes? Are you unwell?"

"I need you not to panic..." Mrs Hughes warns "But I think the baby is coming."

"The baby is coming? But... there is no-one in the house. They've all gone to church!" A flash of panic grips around her heart, but she steadies herself. Adrenaline. Good. She needs it to keep her on her toes, to help her think quickly.

"The baby doesn't seem to mind." Mrs Hughes' knuckles turn white as she braces herself on the table again.

"Alright." Lily's mind goes into battle mode.

This is no place for a baby to be born. Mrs Hughes needs to be physically supported and they need supplies. Lily is glad she has studied the material the ship beamed down. She knows what she can expect, how to act and in case of immediate danger, she would have her medikit.

"Lets get you upstairs to your room. Do you have everything ready for the baby?"

Thankfully Mrs Hughes doesn't notice Lily has rapidly gone from shy, mousy maid to capable young woman who is in charge of the situation. "Yes... but... I don't know how I'll make it all the way up there..."

"I'll help you. Hold on for now, I need to get a few things. I won't be long." She tries to reassure the Housekeeper and runs to Mr Carson's pantry where she grabs yesterday's paper, then she goes through to Mrs Hughes' parlour where she gets a pair of scissors. She finds a bottle of gin in the kitchen - no doubt it's Mrs Patmore's, but she will replace it as soon as she can - she will use it to quickly sterilize the scissors.

"I am back. How are you holding up?" she asks, putting the scissors in her apron pocket and the newspaper between the waistband of her apron. She slides her arm around Mrs Hughes' back. "Lean on me. We are going to take it slow, but we need to get there. So, when you feel you can, we move."

The stairs are long on an ordinary day, carrying hampers filled with laundry, buckets of coal, stacks of plates, but this is different. Every few minutes Mrs Hughes grabs hold of her belly and doubles over - for as far as she can. "Not far now. We are nearly there." Lily encourages.

When they are on the landing of the attic, Mrs Hughes lets out a sharp gasp and the floor is suddenly wet.

"Nothing to be done about that now. I will take care of it after the baby gets here." Lily's tone is commanding and she is startled herself. She has not heard herself like that in a long time.

She pushes the door to Mrs Hughes' room open, quickly strips the bed and puts down the newspaper and puts the sheet over it. She doesn't like to think of Mrs Hughes laying in the printing ink, it can't be hygienic. She helps Mrs Hughes undress and for the first time she sees the altered body since the incident in the bathroom. When another contraction hits her, she can see it ripple across the taut belly.

"I am getting some water and a towel." She marvels at herself. She is feeling in charge of what is going on. Not just because there is no-one she can rely on, but because she has studied for weeks and she knows she can do it. If there are no complications, it will all be fine.

"Lily!" Mrs Hughes calls out and Lily runs back.

"I think..." She grunts louder. "This... is really painful..." She says through gritted teeth.

"Yes. I heard it would be." Lily quips and the little chortle coming from Mrs Hughes gives them both a bit more strength to carry on.

"I'm going to check if things are... you know... underway." Mrs Hughes doesn't protest. Lily pulls her tricorder from her apron pocket as well as the scissors (she doesn't want them to poke her or worse: wound her) and checks the readings.

"You are getting very close. I think that if you think you are capable, you may start pushing."

She looks at the woman before her and Lily knows it is going to be over soon.

"Hold on to me." Lily says. Suddenly her hand is being squashed and she can't say anything about it, she had told Mrs Hughes to hold onto her.

**part 3**

She has helped Mrs Hughes wash, has gotten rid of the newspaper and sheet (it cannot be salvaged, but it's a tiny sacrifice), mopped up the water in the hall and now she is sitting next to the bed, watching over Mrs Hughes and the baby.

It's a tiny little thing with a button nose and long eyelashes. The crying that started as soon as the baby had been delivered had been a shock to her, but Mrs Hughes had been so relieved. Lily had checked her notes on the sly and followed the steps of the procedure one by one (tying the cord, cutting it, checking for tearing and such), then wrapped the baby in a soft towel and put it on Mrs Hughes chest, who was dazed and unable to say anything because she was so enthralled with her child. There had been a few things that needed taken care of, but it had all gone smoothly and Lily was so thankful as she sat there, making sure everything remained well.

There is a knock on the door and it opens to reveal Mr Carson whose eyes widen when he sees the image before him. Mrs Hughes looks up and smiles at him.

"Come..." She beckons and Lily makes place for him. He sits down and gingerly kisses Mrs Hughes after taking a look at the baby in her arms.

"I just came to check if you needed anything and then I find this!" He exclaims in the softest voice he can muster.

"You did it, my girl... How are you feeling?"

"Sore." Mrs Hughes replies, beaming.

"And the baby?" He touches the baby's cheek.

"A girl. She is doing wonderfully well." Mrs Hughes starts and right at that moment the baby starts fussing, moving her head.

Mr Carson kisses Mrs Hughes again and presses the softest kiss on the baby's temple.

"What have you decided to name her?"

"Christina."

"Are you sure?"

Mrs Hughes nods. "She looks like a Christina to me."

Lily speaks up from the other side of the room. "I am going to go downstairs and inform everybody and I will telephone Dr Clarkson so he can come and check up on you. Congratulations, Mr Carson."

The baby whimpers. "I think she might be hungry..." She adds, leaving the new parents to figure that out on their own, but she doesn't doubt Mrs Hughes will know what to do.

Mrs Hughes always knows what to do.


	9. chapter 9

**part 1**

Lily understands Mrs Hughes is tired. That between feedings and nappy changes and crying for no apparent reason Mrs Hughes has not had a decent night's sleep. She seems calm under it, utterly in love with her newborn daughter. According to Anna, Lily's confidante and advisor in all things 'species related', it will be weeks before things are a bit less frantic, before they'll all be used to it. Or months. So Lily and Anna take care of most things related to the running of the house between them, allowing Mrs Hughes to rest when the baby sleeps and to spend time with her newborn daughter.

Mr Carson tiptoes around his new family. He brings flowers from the garden, tries to comfort Christina when she fusses and he is at Mrs Hughes' beck and call. According to Anna that is just how it's supposed to be. Lily doesn't know, has not said anything about it. She has no experience at all - here babies are little miracles, not something you can order at the laboratory. Lily does know Mrs Hughes is still poorly, her body recuperating from the trauma that is birth. That every little help is needed and wanted.

Seeing Mr Carson cradling his little girl in his big hands, supporting Mrs Hughes down the stairs the first day she is up from her 'confinement', the way he shushes his staff when they are rowdy and it shows such a different side of him, the side that so far only Mrs Hughes has seen in private and perhaps Lady Mary (on occasion), it all adds to Lily's education on the planet and her wish to remain just a little bit longer.

**part 2**

She is cleaning Mrs Hughes' sitting room while the Housekeeper is having her weekly conference with Lady Grantham. It's been six weeks since Lily has helped bring Christina into the world and the little bundle is in her crib in the corner next to the desk, looking around her with big, blue eyes. Lily is singing a song Jimmy has taught her - unwittingly, of course, Lily would never admit to lurking near the piano when it's being played - and dusting the shelves, the framed photographs on the wall.

When Christina starts to whimper, she puts down her cloth and steps down the little stepladder she needs to reach the top of the cupboard (she tries to be thorough to please Mrs Hughes, though no-one would ever see if there's any dust on a wardrobe or top shelves). She hovers over the crib, touches the baby's soft cheek.

"What's the matter, huh?" She croons. "Your mother will be back soon. Don't worry, pet." She uses terms of endearment she has picked up along the way - in church, shops, even in these halls and she uses them only when she is with Christina.

Christina starts crying softly first and again Lily touches her cheek, her brow. She is wearing a little knitted cap and Lily wonders if maybe it itches or is too hot, but the baby doesn't feel warm and when she pushes back the cap to check, there is no sign of irritation. Christina however starts wailing in earnest.

Lily turns around, hoping to see Mrs Hughes, Mr Carson, Anna, anyone, but she is alone with the crying child and she takes a deep breath before picking Christina up, and holding her close. She shushes in the manner she has seen Mrs Hughes do and rocks her a bit like Anna does and thankfully the wailing subsides and Christina falls asleep in her arms.

Now what? She almost panics. How do I get her back in the crib? Do I stand here like this until Mrs Hughes comes back? What do I do? There has been no information on this very practical side of things in her books and reports, only articles on development, on anatomy, on neurology and she is feeling as helpless as Christina must have felt just now before being picked up. Lily paces up and down the small room, gently rocking the baby, from time to time she plants a small kiss on top of the knitted cap and she understands how this is a normal thing: if you have big feelings about someone, you might want to kiss them.

Christina weighs next to nothing still, but the slightly cramped way Lily holds her, makes her arms and shoulders ache and she sits down on the high backed chair, resting the arm that supports Christina's head on the arm rest.

"Lucky little baby..." She whispers to the child. "Having a loving mother and father who wanted you so much they didn't even know it themselves..." She pulls at the blanket, making sure the cold can't get Christina as she sleeps.

**part 3**

"I ought to tell you to get back to work, but I don't want to wake her." Lily is startled by the voice of Mrs Hughes coming from the doorway.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Hughes, but she was crying and..."

"You picked her up and settled her. That's quite alright." The Housekeeper steps over the threshold and closes the door behind her before sitting down across from Lily. They sit in silence, both of them looking at Christina, who is unaware of anything, still sleeping contentedly in Lily's arms.

"Best put her back in the crib, you won't be able to move if you keep sitting like this." Mrs Hughes says with a smile.

Lily looks around to the crib.

"I don't know how to do it without waking her..." She admits.

"Just gently. It will be fine." Six weeks of motherhood and Mrs Hughes is as confident as she is with linen rotas, with dishing out reprimands or speaking to the family.

Carefully Lily stands and walks over to the crib, awkwardly turning Christina and putting her down. She holds her breath when the baby squirms before settling again. Mrs Hughes' hand on her shoulder doesn't startle her as it might have done before, but they have been through a life altering situation together, know they can trust each other.

"You've been a busy little bee, lately." Mrs Hughes says quietly as not to disturb Christina.

"We must all do what we can, I think and I have been trying to do my best to do that." She replies.

"It's been noticed." Mrs Hughes' hand slides off Lily's shoulder and they turn to each other. Lily nods.

"Thank you."

"I also noticed something else." Mrs Hughes adds and Lily's heart starts hammering, a rush of blood to the head burning her cheeks.

"Oh? Did I do something wrong?" She probes, trying to hide her fear of being caught, of being found out and turned to the street without a reference (which is a silly notion, she'll just be transported back to the ship and her superior will be both annoyed and pleased because he won't have to deal with her constant requests for extending her stay and her being dishonourably dismissed from service).

"Not at all. No... but... Sit down." Lily sits as indicated, she'd never deliberately go against one of Mrs Hughes demands.

"You said you grew up in an orphanage, so I have been wondering how you know so little about little children, but you have managed me with... well. That morning."

Lily shrugs. "I read up on it, there's a book in the library." She lies easily.

Mrs Hughes isn't convinced.

"Did you find the little metal aid there too?"

**Epilogue**

In the end Lily got granted her honourable discharge and remained planetside. Mrs Hughes married Mr Carson and after some shuffling with rooms and space they set up house together in the servants' quarters in the attics. Anna and Mr Bates provided Christina with two little playmates.

Besides Mrs Hughes, nobody ever found out Lily's true nature and she lived her life in relative peace and comfort, her body adapting to the planet as the years went by, her knowledge of the people and their dynamics becoming as much part of her as her past aboard ship.

Though no longer in regular contact with the ship, she did receive regular updates on her medikit, which was helpful, since Lily had become an authority on childbirth in the village of Downton. She brought both Anna's children into the world without a single complication.

Thanks to her little 'metal aid'.

Yes. In the end, the Connection had given Lily something she had never expected to have:

a home and a place in the world.

Forever.


End file.
